The last recent years of my life have passed by like speeding cars. Those speeding cars have picked me up and dropped me off where I am today. Which literally, is sitting on my bed with Oliver burrowed beneath my knees, scared to no end that someone will murder me in my sleep tonight. I should give the paranoia a rest. Unfortunately, that is number 12,000 on my list of things to do. Number 1 is obviously neglecting sleep so that I can write this blog [and prevent my next vacation from being a one-way trip to the morgue].
Allow me to perform a quick recap of the past few years of my life. 2008 sounds like a fine place to begin.
January-December 2008
Thought process: "I bet getting drunk everyday would be a stellar idea. Maybe I should try to engage in the most idiotic activities imaginable and see what happens. Consequences? What are those?."
January-December 2009:
Thought Process: "Oh my god, am I going to be hungover for the entirety of 2009 in order to make up for 2008? Is this regret I feel? Time to face the consequences you dumb, drunk mess."
January-April 2010:
Thought Process: "If anyone is deserving of winning the lottery it's probably me. Although, I already won the lottery of love. Having a puppy is basically the same as raising a child."
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