Friday, July 15, 2011


Me: Do you think that if I eat right now.....
       that I will be hungry for popcorn later?
Sarah: Well...we're leaving in two hours. 
           So just eat a little. 
Me: 1/4 of a hot pocket?
      Maybe just one bite?
Sarah: No. Don't eat any of a hot pocket.
Me: Maybe I should just lick it?

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Brevity

The last recent years of my life have passed by like speeding cars. Those speeding cars have picked me up and dropped me off where I am today. Which literally, is sitting on my bed with Oliver burrowed beneath my knees, scared to no end that someone will murder me in my sleep tonight. I should give the paranoia a rest. Unfortunately, that is number 12,000 on my list of things to do. Number 1 is obviously neglecting sleep so that I can write this blog [and prevent my next vacation from being a one-way trip to the morgue].

Allow me to perform a quick recap of the past few years of my life. 2008 sounds like a fine place to begin.

January-December 2008
Thought process: "I bet getting drunk everyday would be a stellar idea. Maybe I should try to engage in the most idiotic activities imaginable and see what happens. Consequences? What are those?."

January-December 2009:
Thought Process: "Oh my god, am I going to be hungover for the entirety of 2009 in order to make up for 2008? Is this regret I feel? Time to face the consequences you dumb, drunk mess."

January-April 2010:
Thought Process: "If anyone is deserving of winning the lottery it's probably me. Although, I already won the lottery of love. Having a puppy is basically the same as raising a child."

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

The Bravery

Living in this creepy, creaky, cryptic house alone for the next couple of days. And no, Oliver doesn't count because he has retreated to the only safe spot in the vicinity.